Very early in my cancer journey, I started documenting thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Once I was through treatments and on the healing path, I felt compelled to share that journey, in hopes that my tale would be a beacon of light to others. Here are two excerpts from Magnificent Misery – From Adversity to Ecstasy.P.30 Journal – March 2011
It’s been five weeks since Cancer dragged me front and centre and commanded me to dance. Those of you who have also been commanded to swing to this same music likely remember the terror and disbelief when you saw your name on that particular dance card.
The orchestra (a.k.a. Western Medicine) immediately struck up a whirling polka of more testing, consulting and the resulting chat about what they soon planned to do to my body to eradicate the malignant cells. The most shocking news from the colonoscopy (in addition to the pictorial evidence of cancer) was that surgery was recommended – they would totally remove the rectal area and leave me with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. While the doctor waited for biopsy results, he planned to refer me to the Cross Cancer Institute for their opinion about radiation and chemotherapy.
That week was a nightmare of feelings as I envisioned life after surgery. Every fibre of my being screamed, “No, no, no!” …
P.98 … “I may not know how to help heal you, I may feel helpless in the face of your suffering, but I can shower you with all the love I possess, hold your hand, and watch the sunrise with you. I can believe in your power to look after your own well-being. I can allow you your space to seek the answers and wisdom that’s within you. Because you matter to me, your journey is yours to direct and experience in the way that matters to you.
I can celebrate with you in your joy and weep with you in your sorrow. I can express my gratitude for your willingness to endure pain so I may learn from it. I have only the answers that make sense for me – they may not be your answers, but I’m willing to share them if you want me to…”
You can order a copy of this book at www.amazon.com. It’s also available in Edmonton at Audrey’s Books.